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[08 Oct 2003|02:16am] |
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so yeah, quick rundown, since last update, been spending time with maria, working things out and things are getting better, going to perkin's on a nightly basis for magic, been keepin' outta trouble. umm workin' round the house, tonight, went to perkin's as usual, and i saw robin and sarah, that brightened up my day more than it already was. anyways i'm hungry. bye.
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| yeah. |
[29 Sep 2003|01:43am] |
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2 posts in 1 day. it's not tommorrow until i've slept so BACK OFF! i love that girl, seriously i do, me and her go together so well and love the same things, we have our small issues but we're working on how we deal with everything etc... but i love her to death. and i will love her to death. anyways, i need to take out my contacts and sleep now.
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| so yeah, what now, beehotch |
[28 Sep 2003|08:33pm] |
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ya know, everything is so tricky, i'm workin' on bettering myself, so i've quit drinking, smoking, vandalizing, buying smokes for people, hookin' people up with alcohol, or any other drug sellers. i'm really trying to make an effort to be the beter person i should be. it's going, slowly, but it's going. i've quit the previously mentioned, now i just gotta work on who i hang out with. but it's going and that's what's important. this is the time where it all means so much, i can't let myself down i gotta do it completely. me and her, it's all still so special. it's still always so hard to say goodbye, even on the phone, it's amazing. anyways, time to float aroudn some more.
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| so it's been a few days. |
[27 Sep 2003|11:45am] |
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yeah, been a few days since i updated. hmm, dunno what to really say though. latest happenings are the usual at perkin's until 2 or 3AM playing magic, nothing too interesting, been talkin' to maria more and talkin' has helped us grow closer i think, she's my bestest friend, umm last night... chilled with kat for a bit, went to perkins with maria and got some hot chocolate, she left cause of ACT this morn, and i chilled with shawn, kyle, and brooke at perkin's for a bit, than joined the magic krew. that's bout the extent of it. the past couple of weeks i've been learning more about myself and who i am and why i do the things i do. it's very helpful to know this because it makes certain aspects easier to change. and i feel it helps me to mature, i know i'm still a child, but i'm slowly maturing and that makes me happy. anyways that's it. i dunno why i started updating again but i don't care.
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| i'd just like to say. |
[23 Sep 2003|01:47am] |
bend over to the front, touch the toe bounce that ass up and down and get low.
yeah, i'm ghettofied now. umm. whatever. busted out the leather trench today, i enjoyed it much, even though it did get hot wearing it. i got my bestest friend back. umm... played magic, got home early though. gotta get up soon and making myself food. peace ya'll
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[20 Sep 2003|11:29pm] |
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why is it every morning i wake up i think of her cause i care, every time i look at the stars i think of her, i can't get her off my mind and love her, but she wants to deny it.
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| what the fuck, why not |
[20 Sep 2003|11:46am] |
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quick recap for the journal, last saturday maria leaves my house fine, calls me an hour later, not fine, i'm confused as to what the fuck, that night have a small drinking party, go out for a walk, get ticketed,. sunday maria quits talking to me altogether, the devastation. can't eat anything until monday, sunday through thursday, hang out with kat and after i drop her off i go and play magic with my friends at perkin's, still every mornin' i think about her but i'm bein' strong about it, friday night, goto the EP Football game and see all my friends, i'm having fun and enjoyin' my life but i still do miss her, goto perkin's after the game and she calls me, tries accusing me of never having loved her or cared for her, doesn't even believe a word i'm saying, newsflash baby, i've loved you always, and i still do, ya been there for me more than anyone else ever has, ya mean more to me than anyone else, but if ya don't wanna believe me, fine, i don't deserve the accusations, cause if i really didn't why would i have stuck around especially through the fucked up situation during the summer, why? why would i be feeling so bad about here that i just wanna goto the army and never come back home. i lost you, and at first i felt bad because i had and i had no idea what i did, but now i have no idea what the fuck to think. i really wish you could just look into my eyes and see what's real, unless you've just been fucking playing me this entire time, if you had it'd make me feel alot better than this, honestly, this just hurts, right where it counts, everything i ever did was with my heart and through my heart with love, this isn't any fucking excuse, i know you'll never read this, but it's for myself more than anything, i wish i knew why you were doing this to me. is it cause i'm being as strong as i can now and spending alot of time with my friends having fun, my friends who've always been there and always had my back through all the hard times even now, you're hurting me alot, but i'm still enjoying my life cause i'm done drinking and vandalizing, and i'm happy with who i am, and this isn't gonna change me to be a depressed loser. i wish you knew how i do still feel about you, but i doubt you ever will. farewell sweet angel, i've always loved you and i always will not even this can change that.
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[13 May 2003|10:38pm] |
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so yeah, i'm updatin' it cause stefani told me to. yes i did misspell your name on purpose. so yeah, SCHOOL IS DONE BEE HOTCHES, i took my last day to loot some stuff from the school and throw bottle rockets at people and other assorted stuff. craziness and it's all done. i'm done with this now, time to drinkk. peace.
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| yay for seeing tessa, |
[19 Apr 2003|03:32am] |
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so yeah, it's like after 3 and me and brian decided to go visit tessa cause she's so sweet and she fuckin' rocks yo'. she's always been such a great friend to us and is such a sweetheart, i'll finally be able to see her more now that i don't have to worry about being jumped and/or raped. me and brian had such a good time seeing tessa, just chillin' outside and talkin'. can't wait to double triple couple date or whatev, hehehehe. ahhh, drinking time too, too bad brian can't drink anymore. *big hugs for tessa*, *big hugs for maria too!* i love maria! :)
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| been awhile. |
[14 Apr 2003|10:42pm] |
so yeah, it's been awhile, so i'll just give a rundown of today with some small notes, ok so yeah, wake up this morning feel like makin' myself look good so i decided to spike up my hair. somewhere round 1-2 PM, my baby, maria, comes over and we decide to goto a park which we love to do, always so relaxing, anyways at the park some little stupid shits yell some obscene sexual remarks directed our way, and i was gonna go jump them, but i didn't for maria's sake. so we went down to the river and walk barefoot through the sand, yes there is sand along the river and it's not that bad. it was quite relaxing and beautiful even though the river is a shit brown color, it still seemed like such a surreal moment in time, like in the movies, yada yada.... afterwards we go for a hike near my grandma's down in the highland hills area, we found this really cool set of 3 waterfalls or so totaling about 10 feet or more high, and we sat there and just took in the scenery all the while talking about alot of stuff. on our way back i found some bones and decided to take them, they're either coyote bones or deer bones, possible fox but i don't know of any foxes in that area. went to twistee treat and got a slushee and shared it, ended up goin' back to her dad's place and talked to her stepmom, and i think things are going to start getting better with her dad and step-mom, not gonna go on a big spiel about the past, but things are going to get better. shot some hoops there, stayed for dinner, we had spaghetti, had a great time. truly one of the best days, it ranks up there but does not beat the 11pm-5AM night when we talked and decided to go out.
//spiel off.
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| the war. |
[21 Mar 2003|03:38pm] |
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so i hope all these anti-war protestors saw the footage of us liberating an iraqi city and the people cheering and ripping down saddam shit. you take your fucking unjust war views and stick 'em up your asses seriously, these people have had so many atrocities committed against them by saddam, the fucker's even lighting up the oil wells. hanz blick even said we could've spent years searching and never found all the iraqi shit that they're not supposed to have. these people have been oppressed by saddam and he's been harboring chemical and biological weapons which he now has people in the US or mexico in control of. dare to say it's still unjust. just my thoughts.
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| my new tattoo. |
[07 Mar 2003|07:12pm] |
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so today, kick ass, i got tattooed by satan down at i'm no angel at noon, only set me back 150, and 40 for a tip. quite enjoyable and i feel great.
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[23 Feb 2003|11:49am] |
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last night... god i could tell you all, but would you believe me?... i'm not sayin' a word.
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| girlfriend survey. |
[17 Feb 2003|07:08pm] |
1)So, since you're filling THIS out, then you have a girlfriend, or at least, a girl you're "going out" with, right? Yes
2)What's their name? Maria
3)Looks? short.
4)Are they cute? yeah
5)Where did you two meet? knew each other in 3rd + 4th grade, but b/c of schools didn't see her again until my sophomore year.
6)Who's more sensitive to the touch? she is
7)Does she give good hugs? yeah
*Emotions & Stuff*
1)Is she romantic? hmm.... i'd have to say yeah.
2)What part of her personality attracted you to her first? she accepted me for me.
3) What's her best trait? That shes very understanding
4)She isn't like some dominating control freak right? not at all.
5)What's the cutest thing about her? hmm.... i don't think i could pick out just one thing.
6)Annoying? nope
7)What does she do that makes you feel REALLY good? she listens to me and cares for me.
8)Makes you want to cry? nothin'
9)What she has done/does she do that REALLY, REALLY makes a huge impact? always being there even when we were just friends.
10)Do you love her? Yes
11)Do you remember the EXACT moment you fell for her? well, since about may in 2002 i knew i wanted to be with her but it wasn't until december that i knew i had to be with her.
12)Have you ever seen her cry? no
13)Has she seen you cry? i'm not sure, i don't think so.
14) What does she say/do that always makes you smile? too much to list here.
15)How long do you think you two will be together? that's not really a question that you can answer, but if i had to guess i'd say for more than just a short time.
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[17 Feb 2003|08:58am] |
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got the life!
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[09 Feb 2003|11:11pm] |
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well, it's been weeks since i've had a smoke and over a week since i've had any alcohol.... yes i'm trying to quit and be a better person or something. i need sleep now. night all.
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[03 Feb 2003|10:39pm] |
Every 14th of February you get the chance to display your fondness for your wife or girlfriend by showering her with gifts, flowers, dinner, shows and any other baubles that women find romantic. Every Valentines Day you rack your brains for that one special, unique gift that will show your wife or
girlfriend that you really love them more than anything. Now ladies, I'll let you in on a little secret. Guys really don't enjoy this that much. Sure seeing that smile on your face when we get it right is priceless, but that smile is the result of weeks of blood, sweat and consideration. Another secret--guys feel left out. That's right, left out. There's no special holiday for the ladies to show their appreciation for the men in their life. Men as a whole are either too proud or just too embarrassed to admit it.
Which is why a new holiday has been created. March 20th is now officially "Steak and Blowjob Day". Simple, effective and self-explanatory. This holiday has been created so you ladies finally have a day to show your man just how much you love him. No cards, no flowers, no special nights on the town. The name of the holiday explains it all. Just a steak and a blowjob.
That's it. Finally, this twin pair of Valentines Day and Steak and Blowjob Day will usher in a new age of love as men everywhere will try THAT much harder in February to ensure a more memorable March! It's like a perpetual love machine. The word is already beginning to spread, but as with any new idea, it needs a little push to start the ball rolling.
So spread the word and help bring love and peace to this crazy world.
(taken from stephanie's LJ)
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xajbakerx's journal
